Internet Cancer: Virtual Friendships Gone Wrong

If you are here, then you are addicted to the internet. lol There is nothing wrong with that. It happens to everyone who owns a computer. The ability to reach out and 'touch' someone is seductive and alluring and rapidly becoming the 'pick up joint' of technology. People 'find themselves' on the internet. They join sites which allow them to interact with others of like mind, shared interests, whatever their reason for being on the net is. Considering the huge huge numbers of people who go on line everyday, the proliferation of websites is inevitable. I am always surprised that when I finally venture outside of my house, the air isn't rippling with 0's and 1's! We literally live in a matrix these days! lol With this ability to connect, comes the forging of friendships. Some remain 'virtual' - that is, on the net and on the net only. Some cross over into real life, and face to face meetings happen. It is the 'virtual' friendships that concern me. People connect - but do they really? There is NO substitute for face to face, exchange of chemical, pheramone, and instinctual reactions. In 'real' life, we usually know from the gut, whether or not a person is good/bad/ambivalent or just plain someone that attracts us for some reason and we become interested in getting to know them better. On the net it is different. All we have to go by is someone's word. And let's face it. Not everyone can express themselves in writing as well as Shakespeare! To my mind, that cry's out for tolerance, understanding and being willing to give a person the benefit of the doubt. Connections happen quicker, if the words being read, exchanged, offered, are what we want to hear, something that makes us feel good, opinions being expressed that mirror our own. And that is where the danger lies. Because people lie. People deceive. People manipulate. We know this in real life - and yet we fall for these people on the net because OUR INSTINCTS do NOT kick in soon enough. It is only our understanding of our own life experience that allows us to finally see through the written seduction and manipulation being exercised upon us. Some of us get 'away' in time. Some of us do not. Some of us NEVER do. I have lived long enough and am familiar with the English language enough, to almost instantly recognize the thought patterns inherent in a person's speech or writing. I don't mean by that, that I know what people are thinking. I mean that I can usually tell what kind of a mind set a person has by their approach to the language, the ideas they express and the reactions they have to other comments. People are creatures of habit. And habits are hard to break. It takes a very strong minded individual to change their mind set, own it and get over it and move on to something better. Unfortunately most people don't even understand that concept and therefore never implement it within themselves. And they are the easiest to spot after enough exposure. They use the same phrases, express themselves within the same vernacular, vocabulary, grammatical text etc. It is their 'style' and after awhile it is obvious and easily spotted as, "Oh yeah, that's so and so". People cannot hide from their own style of expression. What is frightening about virtual friendships is the fallout when they go wrong. Because we don't have the same 'handle' on a person that we would have in real life, the rush to judgement is swift and destructive. Even though we are experiencing people in one dimension only, we negatively react to being disappointed, angered, questioned - whatever the reason for the fall out - by them as if they were a real life best friend who suddenly betrayed us for no reason. We go on the attack and do not let up until the person is humiliated, demoralized and damaged in ways that in real life we would be put in jail for. This kind of forging/destruction of friendships is most obvious on forums where people allegedly gather to interact as adults. Sadly, for many people - being an adult isn't as much fun as being no better than a schoolyard bully. And as there is no place for bullies in real life - there should NOT be a place for them on public forums where their behaviour can result in the destroying of lives and reputations.
So folks, if you come across a cyber bully - do what you would do in real life. Report them, stand up to them, DON'T LET THEM WIN! Let's clean up the cancer of virtual friendships gone wrong.